Midge Ure - Breathe

Fear of fear

'The only thing to fear is fear itself'

Wise words from one Franklin D Roosevelt, for it is the fear of being afraid that paralyzes progress and leaves us trapped in a viscious cycle. In fact, this is how a panic disorder develops in the first place. For one reason or another you experience a panic attack and, being quite terrified, you immediately decide that this is very bad and you don't ever want it to happen again. Maybe that is as far as it goes for some people, but for others, they may have a second or third episode, which really puts the frighteners on. That's when the 'what if' thoughts enter the equation. "What if this happens to me again, and I'm out at the shops, and I can't catch my breath and feel trapped?" And that's the difference - it is the fear of having a panic attack, not a fear of going to the shops. You are afraid of having a panic attack while you're there. Or on the bus, etc. So it is a fear of being afraid and not being able to handle it.

How, therefore, can we alleviate this anxiety surrounding panic attacks? Well, I'm afraid (sorry!) there's only one solution: Allow yourself to feel afraid. The only way to stop feeling so bad about having panic attacks is to just accept them, let them happen and remove all judgement surrounding them. They feel extremely uncomfortable and upsetting, but they are not dangerous. They are a completely normal set of reactions, only they are a little out of context. Your brain gets the message that your safety is being threatened, so it takes the necessary precautions to protect itself and prepare for a speedy getaway. It feels like your body is about to crumble and faint, but actually it is trying to keep you safe. It's your job to remind your body that there is no real threat to your safety and you can do this by not reacting to its alarm. Let the feelings of fear rise and fall.

I realise that saying and doing are two very different things. It is a process of learning and you will have to practice it over and over until you see results. Progress may be slow, but as Confucius once said, "It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop!" Some days I can talk myself out of having a full blown panic attack and others days I just have to excuse myself. Here are some coping statements that can help when you find yourself becoming afraid of your symptoms:

• These feelings/symptoms are not dangerous
• I can be anxious and still deal with this situation
• I am allowed to feel fear
• This will pass

Remember to try and regulate your breathing - this is your greatest tool for dealing with a panic attack. Also carry some bottled water, which can help if you feel out of breath. If you can, take a seat, take some deep breaths and praise yourself for all the efforts you are making. Once you have some tools for coping with panic attacks, you will become more confident in your ability to deal with them. They may not go away, but over time your fear of having them will diminish.

I remember when I first saw the book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' by Susan Jeffers I thought great, another person telling me to face my fears! She obviously doesn't know how awful it is to experience a panic attack. But the answer is in the title; facing your fears will not make them go away. However, allowing yourself to feel fear instead of insisting 'I must not get scared', gives you back the power instead of letting the fear control you. I don't think anyone really enjoys being afraid, no more than people enjoy being sad. But they are valid human emotions that deserve to be heard and expressed. Fighting them back or suppressing them will only make matters worse and create a stockpile of emotion that will erupt further down the road. It's okay to be afraid, it does not mean you are weak or different to anybody else.

So just consider these thoughts and if you can, embrace them in the spirit that they are meant. I try not to blame myself and I certainly wouldn't blame anyone else for avoiding situations that cause panic. It's another natural, human response. But there will come a day when the pain of feeling trapped is greater than the pain of experiencing fear and when it does, remember that there is nothing to fear, but fear itself.