Prone To Panic: Self Love - the answer to everything!

I had one of those light bulb moments recently. I realised that if we truly loved ourselves, all of the fears we have in life (real or imaginary) would not hold the same power over us because we would know that no matter what, we can still accept ourselves. Anxiety can cause severe tunnel vision when it comes to unconditional self love. It causes you to spend copious amounts of time focusing on what you cannot do or what you don't have, thus creating a rather Picasso-esque self image. I am not saying that we should go to the other extreme of focusing solely on our good points, but finding a happy medium in which we can love ourselves, flaws and all. I once read that you cannot be brave on purpose - true courage comes from seeing things as they really are. So rather than trying to force yourself to love the person you've been criticising for years, take small steps to start a relationship, just as you would any other, but with yourself.

I found the following guide written by James J Messina, PhD on his site Coping.org which is extremely useful.

What are unconditional self-acceptance and self-love? To accept and love yourself unconditionally is to:
* Place no condition on yourself as to how to behave or what to be in order to receive self-acceptance and self-love.
* Not use "if-then" clauses in establishing conditions for accepting and loving yourself.
* Take a risk to be open and vulnerable to who you are with no preset limits or expectations.
* Accept and love yourself for the fact that you exist rather than for what you do.
* Give yourself the respect and latitude to be yourself rather than to be what others want or expect you to be.
* Set the stage for yourself to feel warmth, caring and concern for yourself which results in your growing in self-esteem and self-worth.
When you are the recipient of unconditional self-acceptance and self-love from yourself, you feel:
* Free to be yourself.
* You have value and worth.
* Wanted and desired for you as you are rather than for what you do.
* Listened to and understood.
* That you have yourself to offer others which in itself is worthwhile.* Warm, cared for and nurtured.
* You are OK just the way you are.
* That there is no need to wear a mask or to act in any way just to please another.
* Free to be yourself and to open up your feelings with no fear of rejection or non-approval.
* That it is possible to take the risk to be vulnerable in order to have open and honest relationships with others.
* No fear of retribution or reprisal from others if you should make a mistake or experience a failure.
* That there are no conditions set on your relationships with yourself.