Social Phobia vs. Shyness

I read an article in The Times recently that posed the question of whether ‘shyness’ is a medical condition or just a personality trait. I was diagnosed with Social Phobia four years ago and have spent much of that time trying to find a cure! However, I am more and more partial to the idea that this is not an illness but a natural reaction to changes in my environment. I was always shy as a child, but as I grew older became very sociable and learned how to hide my feelings of self-consciousness and insecurity. But in hiding my true self, I became the person I suspected everyone wanted me to be, not the person I am. Only since I was diagnosed in 2002 have I started to accept who I truly am and no longer feel the need to hide my shyness. I have also recently discovered that it runs in my family, so does that make it an illness or a part of who I am?

I am not sure that I have the answers, but one thing I do know for sure is that we cannot keep judging one thing as being ‘good’ and another thing as being ‘bad’. Why is it any better to be an extrovert than an introvert? I am much happier with my life now that I have accepted who I am. I write and I paint and get my hands stuck into whatever other creative outlet I can find, as opposed to the old me who did a course in business and joined the rat race along with everybody else. I knew I didn’t like it, but I was just doing what was expected of me, and thereby expecting fulfilment at the end of it. But it never came. I was a square peg trying to fit a round hole. Which brings me to my other question – is society medicalising a perfectly normal personality trait because it doesn’t conform to ‘the ideal’ we have created in our Western, capitalist societies? The media constantly bombards us with messages of what you need to be in order to succeed e.g. driven, confident, outspoken, and pushy. So what of the rest of us? What happens if you do not fit into this category? Is there no more room for individuality? Apparently not, because if you do work up the courage to visit a medical practitioner, chances are they will write you a script for anti-depressants quicker than you can say “but there’s no substantial evidence to prove that these medicines have any effect on treating anxiety disorders”! So you see, we can’t win. On the one hand society does not accept us because we are not productive enough or competitive enough, and the pharmaceutical companies are more than willing to cash in on this new market of inadequacy. I am not a conspiracy theorist or a sociologist or a psychologist for that matter, but you have to admit that it seems more than a little coincidental that the shy trait, which was something to be admired in the past, has now become an intolerable disease.

Don’t get me wrong; I am not belittling this condition by calling it shyness. I have lived with it for four years and am well aware that it is more than just first-date jitters or butterflies in the stomach. But for one moment, forget all of the labels and imagine that feeling this way (sometimes afraid, sometimes nervous) may not be a ‘bad’ thing. It is completely natural to have feelings of fear or apprehension, especially living in this age of uncertainty. Perhaps the fear heightens at certain periods in one’s life due to work pressures, family problems, or substance abuse. I don’t think I will be this anxious for the rest of my life, I believe it will get easier. But for the time being I have to accept what is and work with it.